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For a period of almost four years, your author worked as a mortgage adviser in the UK. As you might imagine, over time all sorts of people walk through the office door.

However, there was one phenomenon that never ceased to amaze me or my colleagues and it is surprisingly common. This amazing sight?

Simply the number of people who treat their significant other poorly when it comes to money and debts.

Here is a typical scenario... A female wishes to buy a house. She has been renting or currently lives with her parents and needs to change. However, she is paying a debt each month, usually on a credit card, for a few thousand. Whilst discussing her income and expenditures, she mentions the card and that it was to pay for something (often a holiday but sometimes a rental deposit, car purchase, etc) for an ex boyfriend.

The ex boyfriend has either refused to pay anything or his share of the debt. Sometimes, he even refuses to admit that the debt exists. Fir the girl, it is easier and less painful to just put it all behind her and pay it herself.

At first, I used to think that it was just that the lady was having difficulty getting over the relationship and some poor treatment. However, as time passed and I saw this situation, or some variant, again and again, I started to realise that it probably was the ex.

What causes it, who can say? Perhaps it is purely selfish, or acts of desperation. Whatever is to blame, it certainly speaks volumes about the relationship and the person involved.

It always amazed me and my colleagues how someone, usually a man, could have such little regard or respect for a person that they had dated and obviously been close to. Of course, the post divorce finances of many are far worse. But marriage is meant to be a full partnership, till death do us part. It almost seems that some relationships are 'till debt do us part'.

Giving advice on such a delicate matter is often difficult. How do you tell someone not to spend money or help someone that they obviously love or care for? Whatever advice is given will seem mean spirited and negative. Yet, unfortunately, that is sometimes what is required. Suggesting that they 'dump' the other half is hardly likely to win you any friends!

Unfortunately, it seems that there is a small part of the population who is amoral when it comes to money and responsibility. The vast majority of us, if we owe money will work and pay it off. We are responsible and honest and keep our end of a deal.

# posted by Medical Information : 1:10 AM